I'm Back! :P

   Hello, my three lovely followers. c: I know I haven't posted in almost a month. A lot of stuff has been happening lately, and I don't like to write unless I'm at least somewhat clear-headed. But I think I'm getting back to blogging now, so I hope you guys like any new things that I post!

Hana: Snapshot

Snapshot

 

 

*click*

There.

Your pretty blue eyes,

Your soft brown hair,

Your peachy skin,

Your cute little smirk.

I have it all.

All in the back of my mind.

 

It pains me to go back to that image.

So I push it farther back.

Nothing more than a petty picture...

 

*click click*

There.

Your soft lips pressing softly onto mine.

My first, I think,

First kiss.

I felt it all.

But now it's just in the back of my mind.

 

It pains me to remember those moments,

So I push it away 'til I nearly break my skull.

Nothing more than a stupid memory.

 

*click click click*

You know, you're just as gorgeous as I remember.

*click click click click*

No... No... Need to push it farther back...

*click click click click cli--*

Stop!

 

I look up--

Stare into the sun--

Until it sears my eyes,

And burns the pictures that I had left.

 

It pains me that I'm blinded again.

That I let myself get this way.

Over one single snapshot...





15 Minutes of Inspiration

     Before I go any further, I'd like to explain the title. I'm pretty sure that most people have heard the phrase "15 minutes of Fame". But I don't want that. I think that fame comes in different ways. For example, a model's 15 minutes of fame is 15 minutes in the clothes of the hottest new fashion designer. A reporter's 15 minutes might be the time that they get to cover the new current event that everyone is talking about. We all envision something different happening in those 15 minutes that we get. For me, it's being inspiring. That's right. 15 minutes of watching a person, another human being just like me, read what I write or look at my art and become inspired. That will be my 15 minutes of "fame" during my lifetime, if it ever happens.
     Now that I've explained, I'll continue on. I wonder how many other people share my dream. Just curious. I mean, I think that I may not be the only one. However I'm far from a psychic or any sort of genius, so eh. What do I know? I'm only 14, so despite how good my grades in school are I don't know a hell of a lot about this life that I have. Anyway, I hope that my writing is inspiring the couple of people that read these posts. I really hope that it is. Because that's what I live for: Inspiring people. I want to save people the way that I was saved. Sure I use fragments sometimes, and I don't always use punctuation in the right spots, and blah blah blah. But... isn't the message more important?
     I might be making a huge effort for nothing. But isn't making a huge effort to send an important message more important than making no effort just because I think that the odds of this situation aren't in my favor? It's impossible to know, but I'd choose the former over the latter.

 



Reading to Write

     I thought that it would be nice to take another break from writing Hana. It's really just an experiment with writing, to be quite honest with you. I can't wait to see what I end up doing with it. Anyways, I'm planning on writing an actual novel. Hana is my side project; the novel that I want to write is what I usually work on during the day. (Unless I'm procrastinating, which I usually am).
     So... I've been checking out a lot of books on writing from the public library and the library in my school. It's starting to make me wonder if books like that are actually beneficial to aspiring writers. I mean, think about it. Are you learning how to write like you, or are you learning how to write like that author? Not to say that NONE of the books are helpful, but I'd definitely think about that for a bit. I almost considered not reading anymore, since only one has been helpful, but I decided to get 4 or 5 more, just as an experiment.
     I really hope that these books work... If they do, then hopefully you'll see my poetry improving. ^-^

 

 



Hana: Contest

Contest

 

 

Today I entered

The daily contest;

The everlasting competition

That was burning me up.

Because I never won.

 

I walk into school.

Contestant 14 is flipping her hair back constantly

As a blonde strand brushes against her freshly applied lip gloss,

And a groan comes out of her mouth.

 

Contestant 8 is making that cute little pout

That men seem to love now;

She's trying to be cute...

Good grief... What a whiner...

 

He walks down the hall.

He's the beloved prize.

He's what everyone wants.

Except for me.

 

I slowly walk away.

But once he's seen you,

There's no forfeiting.

No disqualification.

 

All of the girls line up,

Smiling.

Flirting.

Faking.

Laughing.

Posing.

Pouting.

 

I try to look away.

Try not to draw attention to myself.

Yet he looks right at me.

And I know why.

 

He sees that girl

That he used to like.

Y'know, when he used to go for

"Real" girls.

He remembers that girl

Who he used to laugh with;

He used to make fun of

Those pouty attention seekers.

The fakers.

But hey.

 

Now he's as fake as anybody.

 

Today I entered

The daily contest,

The hopeless, pointless,

Endless competition.

 

The one that I'm secretly still trying to win...

 

 

 

Once you enter-

Once he sees you-

There's no forfeiting.

No chickening out.

Fine, deal with his bullshit...

 

It's what your brain says.

While your heart tries reminding you

Why you're competing in the first place.

 





Hana: Audience

Audience

 

I had the honor of being

The lovely audience to this

Horror.

 

With another set of people,

laughing at me starring in my own hopeless

Comedy.

 

All those pretty, plastic, perfect girls

Eagerly watch the performance,

Drooling over the star,

And laughing at that poor, hopeless girl.

 

All of those tall, muscled guys that hang around him

Know that they have a large number of spectators.

So they look to them, and when they get to me, shake their heads.

"Pfft. She doesn't have a chance..."

I saw it in their faces.

 

I am the audience,

The pathetic star whose name you can't remember,

The poor, hopeless spectator,

The fool girl getting laughed at.

It doesn't feel good; I am no masochist.

I do not like this at all, really.

 

I have the honor of being

The one-person audience

For the romance film that I didn't make the cut for.

I never even got halfway to the auditions.

 

The gorgeous actress flips her hair,

Biting her glossed bottom lip,

Acting cute.

Bitch... I say, Wait until he breaks you too, Barbie.

I grimace.

 

The group of long-haired, blue eyed, slender girls

Watch with jealousy, envy.

Then look to me

For that comedic relief

That my life is so good at producing.

 

All of those tall, tanned guys who are watching

Give him a high five.

He's the star, the king, the award-winning actor.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you this year's best faker...

Best pretender..." They're only saying "actor" to be nice.

That's what I mutter to myself,

Attempting not to hurt the audience.

 

I am the audience

And boy, isn't that a pain in the butt.

The fan that wants what she can't have.

Stayed for the whole darn series, bought all the posters, liked all the pictures,

But never has a chance.

I'm slightly used to it now.

I'm no masochist,

But my optimism for being pessimistic is getting in the way.

 

 

I had the honor of being the audience to the final performance.

What's that, the plot twist?

When Barbie cries, when she feels my pain?

 

"Here Barbie," I say to myself, "Have a front row seat."

 

 

 

 

 

 



Fangirling Over Ashe

   All right guys, today I'm gonna talk about Ashe. You might have already heard him sing on YouTube. He sounds GORGEOUS. I seriously don't know why he's not famous yet. He's done English versions of Japanese songs, regular versions of Japanese songs, a couple original songs, acoustic versions of regular English songs... He's really amazing.

 

 

Hope you listen to him! <3

(sorry for such a short post, just thought you should know about this talented man.)